While sitting in church Sunday morning it hit me that next month we will meet our daughter for the very first time. We will get to finally hold her in our arms and smell her hair and hear her sweet voice!
Upon realizing this my eyes welled up with tears and I fought them back. I thanked God for this blessing He has bestowed upon our family. We had always dreamed of adopting but we never really thought we could do it!
Why?
Because Adoption is Expensive! That was our reason, plain and simple. We believed we wouldn't be able to afford the costs involved in it. But God had it all planned out and worked out before we even started the adoption process. He knew when, where, how and who we'd adopt! It was all in His perfect timing. Looking back now on everything God has done for us to make this adoption possible, I feel ashamed of myself for my lack of faith. I am ashamed that we lacked faith in Him that He would provide the funds we needed to make this happen. Now I am stronger in my faith because I've seen what He can do! I fully trust in Him now.
"My friends, Adoption is redemption. It is costly, exhausting, expensive and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him."-Derek Loux
It is not just the financial part that has helped my faith grow. Adoption is HARD! It is not for the meek and mild. The waiting is torturous and painful! I LONG for my child and I dream about her. I have felt helpless during the wait! Sometimes I have felt alone. I felt like nobody understood what I am going through. That is when it is nice to have friends in the adoption world. They have been a huge part of my emotional support and encouragement because they understand! They know how I feel because they felt it or feel it too. They offer advice and words of wisdom because they have been or are where I am.
Sometimes people can be cruel when they find out we are a fundraising our adoption. I've seen and heard terrible, cruel comments made by people who strongly believe that if you do not have the money to pay for your own adoption then you should not adopt. Those comments are not only rude but they are also unfounded. When a woman gives birth to a baby in the hospital the doctor does not stand there with his hand out demanding $30,000 before he will hand her her baby. Insurance pays for it and if the woman does not have insurance the hospital usually sets up payment plans for her. Why should fundraising our adoption be any different? Just because we do not have the money sitting in our bank account to pay for the adoption on our own doesn't mean we can not afford to raise our daughter once she is home. It does not mean we will not be able to provide food, shelter, clothing, a home, love and a family to her. We CAN afford that!
Sometimes family members aren't as supportive as we'd like them to be. Sometimes they are negative and doubtful that the adoption will in fact, happen. And FYI that HURTS, A LOT! But God has been right there beside us encouraging us to ignore the negativity and showing us that He is here for us and we are NOT alone because He understands fully what we are going through.
We've also had a lot of trials during this process. We have been tested time and time again. You see the devil doesn't want us to adopt. He doesn't want anyone to adopt so he tries his very best to make you give up! Jeff was involved in a serious school bus accident. His bus was hit head on by another driver who was going the wrong way. Thankfully, he and the children were not injured but sadly the other driver died. Even though the accident was not Jeff's fault he felt horrible. He mourned for the family of the man who lost his life. We all did.
Over the summer Hailee came down with a bad case of pneumonia and started having asthma attacks. Asthma? Where did that come from? She is now dependent on inhalers on a daily basis. She was also diagnosed with a heart condition, which was something that totally caught us all off guard. That stung a lot. It made us feel helpless and scared for our sweet little girl!
Other things happened, during our adoption, that terrified us but we know that God was with us. He was fighting the battle along side of us making sure we would not give up. And OH how easy it would have been to throw our hands in the air and say we surrender. But we did not! Because Meiya is OUR daughter and we are fighting for her! Just like we would do for Hannah and Hailee. She is no different than them!
One thing we've made a practice of doing during our adoption is praying for God's protection on ALL of us. We pray that He will protect our adoption too. We thank Him daily for everything and everyone He has provided us in our lives. Without Him I do not know how we would survive in this world to be honest.
We are still fundraising to the finish line so that we can afford to travel to Ch*na, which is required. The traveling part is more expensive than the adoption in an of itself. This is not a vacation that we are going on it is a mission to go and bring Meiya home! We look forward to traveling to her country of birth and learn about her heritage. We are more excited to finally meet her and know she is ours forever, and an orphan no more!
Yes, adoption is hard and it is expensive, paying for your child's ransom is costly, but it is worth it! Ask me if I'd do it again and I would say YES, in a heartbeat! I could not imagine going through it without God though. God has been our rock and He has given us the strength and courage to keep going because He loves adoption. He blesses adoption. The reward in the end, our daughter, is the biggest blessing of all.
